Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just gift wrapped bread.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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