Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
