Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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