about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
my being single is dangerous.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
