So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
