Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
