Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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