In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
