I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
