we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Someone shattered a urinal.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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