My brain says no but my pants say off.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
