Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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