and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
