Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
