HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
