i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
