Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
