normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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