dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
are you so shy because you have an std?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
