No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
