my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
MIDGETS
????
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
