My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
