It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
