If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
