She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
there is glitter all over my balls
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