You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
