jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
