what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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