She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
the day after is always just damage control
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
