Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
