just come out here and I will go home with you...
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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