and you said cock pushups were impossible
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
