I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
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