I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
