i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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