Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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