Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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