You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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