dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
