Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
