OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
