he wants to bone in the snuggie
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
