You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
