I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
