my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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