the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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