I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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