So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
