JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
