Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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