Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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