Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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