things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
